Aunt Alice passed away this week. I was not at home when I received this news as I was away for the weekend, so I had the chance to reflect on my own about life and where it is taking me. This then gave me the chance to take stock of my current situation as it stood at that point.
I want to be a better person both inside and out and on the whole I do think I am, but there is a but. I do think as a result of my nature I get taken advantage of both professionally and personally, when I think I am being a good person I actually being taken for a ride. I am pretty easy going and due to my generic make up I aim to strive for the best whilst trying to please others and this week has really shown to me how I have failed myself. I have, I feel, massaged others egos and not had the favour returned. I will not force myself on other people, if they want to know me then great, if not they so be it. People are looking out for number one and getting what they want and neglecting perhaps the one person who could be there supporting them and making a positive difference to their life. There will come a point when these people realise that they should have kept me on side as I am a force to be reckoned with when I need to be, but I just wont have time for them.
So in light of this I have started to look after number one and stop suffering fools gladly, I am speaking up more for myself and in some cases walked away from a situation where I think I have been taken for a ride. I will not be used any further, I wont be used only for that user to move on elsewhere, that’s too boring for me! I have taken advantage of some situations this week and turned them to my benefit I am a firm believer in karma, what goes around comes around and I will sit back and watch knowing I still strive to do the right thing and help where I can but not to be taken for a fool. I will not be spoken to or treated in a certain way and if I respect others I expect that respect back.
Onwards and upwards.
It has been a busy week, I really don’t know where I fit everything I do in, but on reflection its because I have a very good support network around me in my personal life and that makes me feel loved and strong.
Study wise I am now running 2 Open University modules, this is tough going as both courses claim they need “16 hours of study” that’s 32 hours of study a week then right? Well that’s impossible when working so I am doing the next best thing and picking up my books at every spare chance I get without neglecting family, job or gym. These courses will be running together for a couple of months and then I have an exam for one then its just running one course until the next one starts.
Due to a shoulder injury incurred last weekend I thought my gym sessions would not go so well this week but to be fair I have held onto my own. I was back in the gym for a spin class Monday night with the brilliant Joe, it was good to get back into the saddle after the weekend I had. Tuesday was a rest day therefore I was in the gym again for a PT session with Mike, this is where my shoulder played up. Mike is great and started with some gentle movement exercises on my shoulder some I could do and some became so painful that I just wanted to cry out, nevertheless I completed the session and felt OK at the end of it. We used the brilliant TRX equipment for some of the session and I love using these.
Thursday was spin class again with the brilliant Hazel and it was good to see my friends back in too, the dream team back in action! After spin I went for a swim and fantastic, my shoulder held out wasn’t painful as such and it felt good.
Tonight I have pilates booked and I think after the week I have had I need a good stretch out. Being hunched over books, car steering wheel and a keyboard means my shoulders despite last weeks injury are tight and sore tonight’s class should help there.
I have not made any clothes/make up/shoe purchases this week, no time really but I have my eye on some sweaty betty stuff!
Normal service with the blog will be resumed next week.